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Dealing with Difficult People

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By: Groshan Fabio | Oct 25, 2010 | 383 words | 110 views

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If we take the bait then we are allowing the other person to
control our behaviour. This can then result in an
unproductive response.

We have a choice whether we decided to get hooked or stay
unhooked.

2. Don't let them get to you.

We often allow the other persons attitude to irritate or
annoy us. This becomes obvious to the other person through
our tone of voice and our body language. This only fuels a
difficult situation.

When dealing with difficult people, stay out of it
emotionally and concentrate on listening non-defensively and
actively. People may make disparaging and emotional remarks
- don't rise to the bait!

3. Listen - listen - listen

Look and sound like you're listening. - When face-to-face
you need to look interested, nod your head and keep good eye
contact. Over the 'phone - you need to make the occasional
"Uh Hu - I See"

If the other person senses that you care and that you're
interested in their problem, then they're likely to become
more reasonable.

4. Get all the facts - write them down.

Repeat back (paraphrase) the problem to ensure your
understanding and to let the other person know that you are
listening.

5. Use names

A persons name is one of the warmest sounds they hear. It
says that you have recognised them as an individual.
It is important not to overdo it as it may come across as
patronising to the other person.
Make sure they know your name and that you'll take ownership
for the problem.

6. DON'T blame someone or something else.

7. Watch out for people's egos

" Don't interrupt

" Don't argue

" Don't jump in with solutions

" Allow them to let off steam

" Don't say, "Calm down".

8. See it from the other person's point of view

Too often we think the "difficult" person is making too much
fuss. We think - "What's the big deal; I'll fix it right
away". It is a big deal for the other person and they want
you to appreciate it.

You don't necessarily need to agree with the person however
you accept the fact that it's a problem for them.

9. Be very aware of your body language and tone of voice

We often exacerbate a situation without realising it. Our
tone of voice and our body language can often contradict
what we're saying. We may be saying sorry however our tone
and our body language may be communicating our frustration
and annoyance. People listen with their eyes and will set
greater credence on how you say something rather than what
you say.

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